A sample piece of my writing, as of now it’s untitled.

I could feel the rays of sunshine reaching out towards my face, causing heat to make my body to get a sudden feeling of warmth. It wasn’t just a regular day; in fact, it was the first official day of summer! This is the day I have been waiting for. No more projects, homework, or testing.. Just freedom in my own hands.

As I walked past the rural area of my hometown, I looked up into the sky. I finally noticed that the sun was finally setting.. The image reminded me of the paintings I saw while taking art classes many years ago when I was seven. A smile managed to creep upon my face and suddenly all of the problems that have been accumulating in my entire mind seemed to fade away. Their existence was forgotten, and finally all of the stress, worries, and fears completely left my mind.

You can say that I was lost in my own little world, but I’m just a dreamer with goals I want to achieve and dreams I want to accomplish. There’s nothing much more to it. One day, I will snap out of this little world of mine and face the truths of reality. But right now, I just want to enjoy this moment and savor it.

Now I look at myself now and realize how much I long for summer. Summertime is almost here.

Mini list of my weekend plans:

This year’s bazaar was especially fun! We saw so many people from our school there, even some people who we barely know. Honestly, I loved seeing these people because it was nice seeing them outside of a school environment and getting to know them better.
It was nice having her come over to stay the night at my house. I’ve been to her house twice, so I enjoyed being able to go to mine. She’s one of my closest friends in my class and I’m glad I got to know her. :D

I hope all of you had an enjoyable weekend! Sometime this week, I’m going to make a post about my class field trip to Austin! xoxo

Opening an advice blog!

To those of you who are interested in viewing my advice blog, simply go here.

If you’re curious as to why I created this blog, I’ll briefly explain.. As you probably already know, I love helping others, especially with advice. Most of my friends at school go to me if they need to rant or vent. I personally don’t mind listening because I know that it’s always nice to have someone listen.

Sometime last year, I struggled with a bit of depression. It wasn’t that serious, but it was serious enough to a point where I needed to confide in someone. A bunch of people I know at school or at home didn’t believe it was a serious issue, even though it caused me to go through so much mentally. My mind couldn’t take it and I thought that the best way would be to end it. Thankfully, I didn’t.

Anyways, I want to be a person who others can turn to. I want you to know that I care. You might not believe it, but I really do.

Much Love,

Anne XO

Can time slow down for just a bit? Please..?

This week has been a great start for the fourth quarter! I haven’t realized how fast the school year has flown by! It’s a bit of a relief, yet scary to me. Things are possibly, maybe going too fast for me. Next year, when I go into eighth grade, that will be my last year at my current school. Then, I’ll be going into high school. That thought excites me, but at the same time I don’t feel like letting go yet.

I have been attending the same school since pre-kindergarten. Now I’m in seventh grade. Seems a bit unreal, right? My school is almost like a second home. I spend so much of my time at school and with my classmates, even to a point when I see them more than I see my family. Unlike other people I know, I love my teachers. I’m grateful for every single one of them. They have helped me reach my highest potential and without them, I don’t know where I’d be. When I feel like giving up, they would encourage me with their inspiring words. It’s incredible.

Then, of course, I don’t want to say goodbye to my close friends and acquaintances. A few months ago, I thought I knew the exact high school I was planning to attend. Now, I’m unsure. For the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about applying to a nice recommended school that I used to not have a single care for. I don’t even know. This could be a temporary thing or I guess I’m just weighing my options.. I need more time to think. Everyone else seems to know where they’re going, except for me. I absolutely can’t stand being the only one who has absolutely no clue. All of this is bothering me.

The other school I wanted to go is where most of my friends will be attending. I’ve seen a football game there before and I felt like I belong there. Everyone there was so friendly and treated me like a friend. It was nice to feel  wanted and welcomed for once.

Then, the other school seems to have the feeling of opportunity and success. That probably doesn’t make sense, but that’s how I feel about it. I’ve been around the campus before because my cousin goes to the school. I don’t know if I’m just giving into the pressure of following into his footsteps or if I really want to attend the school. This is too much for me to handle right now.

Thoughts?

Believe in yourself.

While I was in Georgia, one of the kindest moms there told me something that completely touched me. Her words encouraged me in some way that I can’t even explain right now. Quite honestly, I now also have so many hopes for the future because of her words. She’s probably one of the kindest and funniest people I’ve ever met. Getting to know her and her daughter, Natasha, over the break was truly a blessing! Hopefully, I’ll be able to hang out with Natasha and her sometime. They’re both two amazing people. Before I tell you what she said, I want to add a few things.

So many things can happen during a lifetime. You meet people. You get to know them. You hear words of wisdom from others, which helps you somewhere in the long run. You start to understand some of the things you thought you never would. You gain knowledge and learn. You experience many different emotions such as love, hurt, happiness, and need. You create friendships that can last a lifetime. You realize that there’s so much more to life. You become the person you were born to be.

How does this happen? You just have to believe in yourself and you’ll be surprised how far that will take you. It’s a bit strange, actually. Some people don’t realize how believing in yourself can really do wonders.

“Look at me, you’re beautiful and young. I want you to believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything.”

Time to let go.

It’s an understatement to say that I’ve grown close to people. In fact, I’m more than just close; I’m attached.

Being attached to a person can be either good or bad. In most cases, it’s bad, but I’m not too sure about mine anymore. Sometimes when I’m attached to someone, I keep on getting hurt because I soon realize that I don’t have a meaning of importance in the other person’s life. Most of my friends or close acquaintances don’t show any type of sign indicating that they still consider me to be a their friend or acquaintance. It actually hurts me more than anything to watch them talk to each other and simply ignore me when I try to speak.

Actually, it’s more than just that. I cannot stand when some people who claim to be my friends call me stupid. This shocks me that they’d say such a thing. So, since I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m stupid? Excuse me, but you need to realize that I’ve missed so many days of school that I missed out on these inside jokes. It’s not my fault that I wasn’t present that day to understand what you’re talking about. Also, since I don’t know every single answer to every problem I’m dumb? Umm, I’m sorry, but I’m not exactly the brightest person when it comes to science or math. Those are my two weakest subjects. They should know by now that it takes me a while to understand some parts of the lesson in class. It’s difficult for me to pick up things right away.

I’m sick of sitting down every day at lunch to hear at least one (sometimes more) comment calling me “stupid”, “dumb”, or even “dumb blonde”. Can’t they understand that enough is clearly enough?

I need a break from some people in my life. Everyday, I come home from school and I can’t take it. Sometimes I have to hold in my tears and try to keep a positive attitude. It’s easier said than done, but somehow I manage to get through another day. I don’t know how I find the energy or motivation to get through. Maybe it’s that I realize everything will be okay. Maybe it’s that I don’t want to be hurting anymore. Maybe it’s that I’m actually stronger than I really think I am..

I need to let go of these people who can never love or care for me in any type of way. I need to let go of these people who simply don’t care about my problems going on at home. I need to let go of these people who continue to hurt me repeatedly. I need to let go of these people who always point out my flaws and watch me feel bad about myself. I need to let go of these people who won’t even act how a true friend should. I need to let go of these people who don’t even accept me for who I am. Now.. it’s finally time.

Greetings, March!

The start of a new month already? I can still picture New Year’s day clearly! I can’t believe we are already this far into 2012. Everything has been passing quickly.. almost too quickly for my liking. Time is simply rushing by, and there’s no way to make things slow down for a short while..

This upcoming Monday, which is two days from now, is the beginning of IOWA testing. It’s basically standardized testing that last for nearly the entire week (even though sometimes we finish earlier or later than scheduled). I really want to get it over with so Spring Break can finally begin! Aha. Once my plans finally get into place, I will be indeed very happy.

My March 2012 Schedule:

3/2 - Yesterday, which was Friday, I went to a service hour project after school. Twenty middle school students, including myself, spent about an hour and a half stuffing Easter eggs with candy and toys. This time we spent will add on to our service hour sheet. Unfortunately, I don’t have the required amount of hours yet. Our teacher said that seventh grade students must have ten hours total, but I only have six. During the summer, I volunteered for VBS, but not all of those hours counted for our service sheet! Any ideas of service hour projects I can do before the school year is over? Aha.

3/3 - Tomorrow (well, today) I will going to watch a play with my Tita Lynn, Kuya Anthony, and Ate Lovelie! Even though I forgot the title of the program, I’ve heard so many recommendations to go watch it. We will be leaving at 8 P.M., so that means it will end late. My parents made arrangements for me to spend the night with my Tita Lou so it won’t be too much of a hassle for my dad or myself (the car ride home can be really long, depending on the roads, construction, etc.). Of course, I’m pretty sure it will be worth it!

3/5 - 3/8 - IOWA testing week!

3/11 - Yes! This is the day I will be waiting counting down for! Why? I will be going to the airport and fly out of Texas to go to Savannah, Georgia for a Girl Scout trip. We will be visiting the birth place of Girl Scouting, going site seeing, and overall having an enjoyable trip! I cannot wait for this week because we’ve been planning this since the middle of last year. Now we’ll finally be going c:

3/24 - I began to feel so much excitement when I checked twitter earlier this evening (or shall I say yesterday evening? aha)! They finally announced the date for the Dallas special event! Details are supposed to be released soon, so I’m going to keep an eye out for that!

March, please live up to my expectations! I am beyond anxious for what you have to bring me!

The beginning of a new week.

Mondays are certainly not my favorite day of the week, but I’ve been learning to accept them. This morning I woke up at the usual time (6 A.M.) and got ready to go take my history test. Since I had many days of absence, I missed the unit test, packets, worksheets, reviews, etc, so I had to make it up today. During the entire car ride, I crammed in some extra studying to completely prepare myself! I’m glad I did because it did me wonders. The grade I received was pretty good for a student who missed half of the lessons and classwork, so I’m really happy about that.

After I took my test, my amazing history/religion teacher handed me a small slip of paper listing all of the assignments I missed during my past absences in order to help me catch up. It was really generous of her to do that because some teachers expect you to call a friend to get the homework while you’re sick. Even though she’s my teacher and it’s her job, she didn’t necessarily have to do that. Now I’m almost (yet not quite) caught up with the rest of my class! I’m glad I went in to catch up on things because standardized testing is next week..

Some parts of the day weren’t too exciting; well, nothing worth mentioning. My math test and quiz scores weren’t what I expected, but I realized my mistakes, so better luck next time..? My language and literature teacher checked the first draft to my research paper that’s due tomorrow. Actually, I’m typing the corrections now. There aren’t too many, but I forgot to add signal phrases. I’m pretty sure I know how to place those into my paper, but that would mean having to change the beginning of a few paragraphs..

Anyways, I better go finish my paper before I forget! Goodnight everyone!

My aspect of life:

I’ve had this saved as a draft for a while, but here is my response to the meaning of life.

Slowly improving my bad habits (part two).

Of course, there’s more things that I need to improve. Most of the people I follow are wonderful students. When I read some of your posts, I sometimes wish that I could maintain good grades like all of you. On the other hand, I used to be an A/B student, with good grades and so much potential. Now? I have been slacking and procrastinating like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t know what has gotten into to me, but I need to find what’s distracting me. I need to find what’s causing my brain to make myself think that my grades don’t matter. I need to find a way to stop these terrible habits.

Yes, procrastination is a common thing, but this really causes me to get low grades. From the A/B student I use to be, I am now shamefully one of the students who’s struggling to pass. In fact, I don’t even know if I’m passing or not in all of my classes. My grades are slipping slowly day by day and I haven’t done a thing to improve them. Why? I don’t know. I should be doing something, but something pulls me back. Is it laziness? It probably is, but I’m hesitant. I don’t exactly know why I’ve been choosing to not complete all of my homework each night. I don’t know why I choose to do it last minute before class starts. I simply don’t know why.

For the past couple of weeks when I’ve been at school, I’d show up to class unprepared. I’d be one of the few who didn’t have their work done and didn’t have the material needed for class. I’d be one of the few who didn’t get up when it came to submitting or turning in the assignment. I’d be one of the few who didn’t pass their paper to the front of the class. I’d be one of the few who didn’t have the answer to the question the teacher happened to ask me.

Now, I’m going to put all of that behind me. It is now the start of change. This isn’t the type of change that is negative in any type of way. This change will be for the better; it will change me for the best. I those of you who are also trying to improve your habits or give up something the best of luck. Please change for the better and the best! x

Slowly improving my bad habits (part one).

Not too long ago (Wednesday), the season of Lent began. For those of you who don’t know much about Lent, you can message me or simply Google it (even though I believe Google would probably give you better answers than I would). Anyways, Wednesday was the start of forty days that will be filled with fasting, prayer, and even giving up a few things. My religion teacher at school told my class that instead of giving up something, we can give.

Admit it. There is probably some type of bad habit that interferes with your work, studies, social life, etc. and might cause you to slack off or not do as well as you normally would. Ask yourself a few questions for me: What is this habit? Do you ever plan on improving it?

In my case, I have quite mini-list of awful habits that I plan to improve during the rest of these forty days. These habits effect me so much and it’s been getting worse and worse. My sleeping schedule is completely messed up. I won’t deny that it is because it’s true. 100%. It causes me to not be able to focus in school, to have a bad immune system, and to constantly feel tired. That is awful. Quite recently, my doctor pointed out that my sleeping habits/patterns and diets might be the reason that I don’t feel well that often. After she said this something washed over me: realization. My doctor continued to explain that my sleeping patterns can cause many damage to my health in the future. I don’t want to ruin my health and continue to cause so much damage to it. This is something I really need to improve. The amount of school days I’ve missed is unbelievable. Not to mention how behind I am in comparison to the rest of my class.

This terrible sleeping pattern and habit I have causes me to feel tired at around five in the morning and sleepy in the afternoons. Ugh. I keep on nearly falling asleep in class some days. About a week ago, I could barely keep my eyes open during first and second period. Then, when I got home, I didn’t even know what the lesson was or what my assignments were. I’m praying that I will be able to recover from this, but it’s still difficult.

Then, of course there’s more to reasons that cause me to not sleep properly. My thoughts tend to roam and occupy my mind during the nighttime. I really don’t know why, but they just do. Thoughts just build inside my head and there’s a constant battle going on in there, fighting over the small events that happened during the day, whether or not my “friends” at school are really my friends, if being at home is the right place for me (I’m sure it’s not. There’s hardly ever a moment when I’m not either arguing with my mom, crying, or having my mom spread her negativity towards me. Honestly, I just want to put it to an end. Moms aren’t supposed to constantly put down their child, right? They aren’t supposed to make their child feel insecure all the time, right? They aren’t supposed to cause their child to cry themselves asleep, right?), and the feeling I get at the pit of my stomach when I see or hear something awfully heartbreaking. Keep me in your thoughts as I try to change myself for the better? x

Galveston trip.

Quite honestly, I am dying to go back there. I don’t care what it takes for me to be there now, but I feel the need to. Everything there seems to be the correct environment for me; the people, the surroundings, everything. To add on to that, I’m spending time with people who actually show that they love and care for me. Even though Galveston trips are quite rare, they are always filled with exploration and relaxation, two things that aren’t a part of my every day life here.

While on my trip, I will not deny that I was completely happy the entire time. Here at home, I honestly try to be happy and have a positive attitude, but no matter what, my mom says a negative comment towards me and I simply can’t help it. Those words get to me and eat the insides of my brain. Those words take every positive thought that’s currently somewhere in my mind and crumble it. Those words are the reason I don’t feel confident about myself when it comes to my grades, appearance, social life, etc. Those words are the reason why I can’t sleep well at night. Instead of being awake in the afternoons, I take long naps to avoid contact with my mom. All we do is argue, so why bother? Then at night, I can’t sleep due to the fact that I slept too much during the afternoon and my body isn’t tired anymore. Of course, my mind is wandering the strangest places that cause me to think about nearly anything you could possibly imagine..

Anyways, enough of that. In my opinion, the weather was spectacular! It was surprisingly rather cold than the usual warm, Texas heat that you usually experience here. The breeze of the wind made it feel much colder as well. I totally loved the feeling, and I definitely want to have weather like that here. Unfortunately, it’s always far too warm here!

The trip consisted of having many laughs with my little cousin, Zachary, walking along the sea wall, going to a carnival and going on many of the rides (including the Genesis!), watching Isiah and Zachary win three fish at the carnival, going to the Mardi Gras parade, playing frisbee, writing names in the sand, watching the sunset, eating my aunt’s barbecue, listening to music from my iPod (while it was on shuffle), many family photos, listening to Zach read his required reading for school, having small talk with my older cousin, eating a ton of junk food with Zachary, having long conversations with other members of my family, and going on walks near the house. It was all great until it had to end Sunday morning shortly after I woke up. We all said our goodbyes, in hopes of returning for the next three day weekend, and going in separate cars not knowing that it would all be stopped due to weather.

The car ride was a tad bit quiet, with only the sounds of the songs on radio playing or the occasional moments when my two older cousins engaged in a form of “small talk”. I was okay with it because I was lost in my own mind, calculating my thoughts and recollecting myself for the returning of home. Well, in a way, I was also preparing myself for when I returned home. I prepared myself to get in “defense mode” when my mom starts yelling at me or throwing some type of negative comment towards me. I had to remind myself that it would only be a few days until I could eventually return and everything would be okay. Of course, I am now proven wrong, but I didn’t know that then.

Coldplay eventually blared the radio, filling the once dull sounds and replacing it with energy as “Paradise” came on. A smile formed on my lips, thinking back to the memory when I first heard the song the day my dad showed it to me. I began to miss my dad (as well as my dog, Scooter) and had a sudden urge to go back home immediately to see him. Not too long after, I immediately shook my head, not wanting to end up missing home to such a great extent. I spoke up, in hopes of starting some type of conversation and asked, “This is Coldplay, right?” I already knew the answer, but I just wanted them to talk to me and in some way, I wanted to test them. They didn’t seem to want to start a conversation with me. Well, in my opinion, “Yeah, I think so” isn’t really the best way to keep a conversation going. None of us said much after that except for a few songs later when my oldest cousin turned the radio station and mentioned how Usher has been changing his music style lately. It was quite interesting, actually. I probably haven’t heard any of his new songs lately because his music style has changed sooo much. The stations I usually listen to definitely won’t play it.

We dropped off my cousin, Kuya Angelo to his house. Nothing much after that. My other cousin, Kuya Anthony, took me to the mall (even though not many stores were open), got a haircut, and went to his house. I saw my Ate Lovelie and their dog, Nemo! It was so nice being there because in a strange way, it’s almost like home, but different….. Aha. She straightened my hair and we talked for a bit. Everything was nice.

Since it was a Sunday, we went to mass. The church we went to had an excellent priest and a lively choir as well! It was also Isiah and Zachary’s dad’s birthday! We then went to a restaurant for a late lunch / early dinner. All of the food was simply delicious and did I mention they had a chocolate fountain? Haha. Quite an amazing weekend if you ask me! Hopefully, we can all go back soon. I miss it too much. xx

My curiosity-filled mind.

Sometimes I tend wonder about other people in this world. I wonder about the people around me and what their life is like. I wonder what pain they’re going through, the thoughts that roam inside their head, and their perspective of things.

For some strange reason (that I still haven’t figured out), this has always been something that comes to my mind every now and then. When I see people crossing the street or at the store, I can’t help but try to picture their life. Occasionally, I can sense pain within their eyes, indicating that they are possibly going through a difficult time. Then, I see happy, cheerful people with smiles our their faces. I often wonder whether it’s a true, genuine smile or a fake one. It could be real, but there are also chances that it could be fake. Being a person who has done so plenty of times, I know that fake smiles are actually quite common. They could be faking a smile, for the sake of the people around them and not wanting to spread negativity everywhere. They could be faking a smile so they can simply avoid various people asking questions explaining why they aren’t at their best mood. Are they worried about their future or expenses? What is their aspect of life? What is their side of the story?

Of course, I also wonder about people would live on the opposite side of the world and other parts of the country I currently live in. What’s life like there? Is it interesting and exciting? What events take place in their life? Would anything in that country make me want to move there some day?

There are so many thoughts that occupy my mind each day. Surprisingly, these are just a few. I can’t even begin to describe anything else that is currently roaming in my brain.. Everything’s too much and I don’t even know how to explain. The rest of my thoughts are usually left unsaid because the difficulty I face when I try to explain. People just don’t understand my love for knowledge and my curiosity about others as well as the world around me. Some days I don’t even understand. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find a person who I can share my thoughts with sometime soon. A person who is full of depth, knowledge, and understanding. A person who I can relate to and can relate to me..


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